


I'm gone

by NaleyForever2020



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29380710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaleyForever2020/pseuds/NaleyForever2020
Summary: Set after last nights episode Charity decides to leave she couldn't stay in the village anymore she had no one she had to get her life back on track.
Relationships: Charity Dingle/Vanessa Woodfield
Comments: 16
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter 1

**Prologue**

Charity had to leave the village she couldn’t stay anymore she had nobody her family wanted nothing to do with her she was just trying to keep Noah safe why couldn’t any of them see that. She was manipulated by Al she should have realised he was using her to get information if she hadn’t been drinking it would never have happened but she didn’t deserve the way her family treated her she was going to do what they all wanted and leave.

Charity spoke to Ross and she was going to pick Moses up on the way he was happy for Charity to move away he wanted her to be happy and knew her being in the village she couldn’t be.

Charity decided to move to Manchester and before leaving she rented an apartment, she sold her shares in the pub because she was done. Charity wasn’t going to let her so called family treat her bad anymore, she was going to get her life back on track and then see about getting access to Johnny she knew she had a lot to do before that could happen.

**Chapter 1**

Charity has just picked Moses up he was so happy to see her, she missed her little boy so much she was never leaving him again she had to be the mum he deserved.

“Mummy we going home” Moses asked as she placed him in his car seat.

“No babe, we’re moving to our new place” Charity smiled as she handed him his elephant.

“Will Noah and Johnny be there with mummy Ness” Moses asked hoping they would be.

“No Moz just you and me, but soon I’m going to speak to mummy Ness and see if Johnny can come over on weekends, it’ll be the weekends you’re not with your dad” Charity said as she started driving was only around an hour drive from Ross’s place so it shouldn’t take too long.

“Ok mummy can we watch toy story when we get there” Moses asked.

“Cause we can I’m sure you can stay up just this once” Charity smiled.

Noah has tried to ring his mum to no answer, he saw Diane earlier and she explained Charity went to pick Moses up, he wanted to arrange a time to go over and see his brother he’s missed him.

“Hi Chas, have you heard from mum she’s not answering her phone” Noah asked as he approached the pub.

“No I haven’t spoken to her in weeks you know she sold her shares in the pub Marlon half owns it now. I have no reason to speak to her she’s a mess Noah and I’m sick of it,” Chas said as she finished collecting the glasses.

“I know, her life is a car crash, she’s gone to pick up Moses I’m just concerned what if she’s still drinking” Noah said it wasn’t like his mum to not answer.

“Ross wouldn’t let her drink with Moses and from what I heard she’s been sober a couple of weeks now.

“Ok I’m going home I’ll see you later thanks Chas,” Noah said as he headed home.

When Noah arrived he saw a parcel for him, looked like it was from his mum, so he took it inside to see what it’s about.

**_“Hi Noah I thought about just leaving and not saying anything but I just couldn’t, I didn’t want you to worry or report me missing. I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life and I know I haven’t always been the best mum. But I always loved you and tried my best to be a mum to you and your siblings. I was trying to keep you safe I didn’t want you to get seriously hurt that’s why I told them about your kidneys I wasn’t trying to ruin your life._ **

**_I know these past few months I’ve been a mess I couldn’t handle losing Vanessa and Johnny and I drank myself to sleep to try and numb the pain. I’ve never experienced pain like it and I know I handled everything wrong I know you all hate me and want nothing more to do with me so, I’m leaving I have to go. When I’m ready I’ll be in touch I just want you to be happy Noah that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you._ **

**_Love Mum_ **

Noah couldn’t believe it his mum was gone how could she just leave him he knew he should have talked to her it was just easier to listen to everyone else when they said she was no good.

“Hi Noah, you ok what’s wrong” Sarah asked as she came through the door.

“It’s mum she’s gone, I don’t know where” Noah cried still in shock.

“Gran wouldn’t just leave Noah” Sarah said not believing it.

“Well she has we pushed her to far we’re never going to see her again she thinks we all hate her and who can blame her the way we treated her, she needed our help and we treated her like she was nothing” Noah yelled as he stormed out.

“Hi Sarah what’s wrong” Debbie asked as she answered the phone.

“It’s gran she left, Noah’s upset” Sarah said as she picked the letter up.

“Sarah don’t worry she’ll be back this is one of her games, don’t fall for it” Debbie said what was she playing at doing this to them again.

“Mum I don’t think so not this time we haven’t spoken to gran since you left she sold the pub she has nothing to come back for we pushed her to far mum” Sarah said feeling bad about the way she treated her.

“Look I’ll phone her don’t you worry ok” Debbie said as she hung up to ring her mum.

Debbie was angry her mum was doing this to the kids again what was she playing at Noah’s 17 now nearly an adult but he still needed their mum she needed to start putting the kids first.

“Mum where the hell are you, Noah is worried, why don’t you stop drinking and ruining all our life’s and sort yourself out” Debbie said as she left a voice mail.

Moses fell asleep half way through the movie so Charity carried him into his new bedroom. She had everything sorted for them before she picked him up she didn’t want anyone to know what was going on so she bought them all new things it’s not like she didn’t have the money to do so.

Charity knew she couldn’t keep the same number so she got a new SIM card she need a whole new start. She wasn’t going to let her family tear her down again she knows it’s going to be hard but she had to do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

It’s been six weeks now since Charity left Emmerdale and she was settled and even had a part time job while Moses was in school. She’s been seeing a psychiatrist for the last couple of weeks she knew she needed to speak to someone she needed help. Charity still wasn’t ready to speak to her family not that they’d care not with the way things were when she left.

Charity’s psychiatrist thought it be a good idea for Charity to contact Vanessa when she’s ready to try and explain everything and apologise for all the mistakes she’s made. Charity knew she wasn’t quite ready for that yet. She still needed to work on herself and make sure she was on the right track she didn’t want to cause any more pain and she didn’t want to fall back into that dark hole she had to work on her being strong enough to handle things without Vanessa.

“Mummy I play football at school my teacher said I’m really good” Moses smiled as she placed his dinner on the table.

“That’s awesome Moz, I’ll look and see if there’s any teams you can join” Charity smiled as she made a cup of tea.

“Mummy tomorrow after school can we go to the park” Moses asked he liked living near one it was just like living back at home.

“Cause we can I wanted to grab a few things from the supermarket we could do that afterwards” Charity smiled she was so glad her son seemed happy here.

“Mummy can I have an iPad daddy lets me play on his I like to play the games,” Moses asked.

“Ok we’ll buy you one tomorrow when we go shopping but you can’t be on it all the time” Charity smiled as he hugged her.

“I love you mummy you’re the best” Moses smiled as he kissed her cheek.

“I love you to so much, how about we watch some cartoon’s before bed” Charity smiled as she turned the TV on.

Noah has just finished his shift at the garage he was grateful Cain gave him a job he’s learned a lot since working there. He missed his mum but he couldn’t talk to anyone about it they were still all angry with her. He just hoped she was ok and hopefully when she’s ready she’ll get in contact with him.

Noah decided it was time to call Vanessa she did promise to always be there for him and he hasn’t spoken to her in months she needed to know what’s going on maybe she could help.

“Hi Ness” Noah broke out as she answered the phone.

“Hi Noah it’s so good to hear from you I’m sorry for not keeping in touch I didn’t know whether you still wanted to talk to me after everything that happened between your mum and I” Vanessa said feeling bad about not ringing him he was her son.

“It’s ok Ness, I don’t blame you not after what happened have you heard from my mum,” Noah asked hoping she had.

“No, I haven’t heard from your mum since I sent her the letter. I know she was drinking a lot, how is she doing now” Vanessa asked it still hurt so much even thinking about Charity.

“I don’t know Ness she left everything just went to shit, we were awful to her, I was hoping she’d have been in contact with you she’s changed her number. I really don’t know what to do anymore” Noah cried this was just too much.

“She left, Noah I’m not ready to come back home yet I have a job here Johnny is settled but I’m worried about you. If you would like to you can come and live with me and we’ll find your mum ok,” Vanessa said Charity had to be ok as much as she hurt her she still loved her and didn’t want anything bad to happen to her.

“Ok will your mum be ok with me staying” Noah asked not wanting to cause any problems.

“I’m not living with my Mum I’m renting a flat it’s not much but it’s enough for me and Johnny I want you to be ok Noah how is Moses” Vanessa asked she missed him too so much.

“He’s with Mum, he’s happy I spoke to Ross he didn’t know where mum was either mum drops Moses off with him every other weekend just like before. Ness I’ll tell Cain I need a break can you pick me up from the train station” Noah asked as he packed some stuff up.

“Ring me when you’re arriving and I’ll be there Johnny will be so excited he’s missed you, bye Noah thank you for calling me” Vanessa said as she hung up.

“Hi Noah where you of too” Sarah asked as she noticed him packing some stuff.

“I’m going to go and stay with Vanessa for a while I need to get away and she said to come” Noah said as he finished packing his Xbox.

“Would be good to get away, mum’s been talking about me moving down to Scotland and I think it will be good for me. I think we could all do with a break with the year we’ve had. Have you heard from gran” Sarah asked she felt bad about the last words she said to her.

“No, nothing Sarah we were awful to her we all turned on her I don’t blame her for leaving she needed our help we saw she was struggling with losing Vanessa it wasn’t mum’s fault I didn’t get in the army she was just trying to protect me. You weren’t the only one to tell her she’d be better off dead I just want to take it all back I may have lost my mum for ever” Noah cried he just wanted to make things right and see her again.

“I was angry I didn’t mean the words I said, gran has always been there for me and I was awful to her. Mum and everyone are just so angry at her we’re the only ones who could see how much pain she was in I’ve never seen her so broken I just hope she’s ok,” Sarah said as she hugged him.

Cain was understanding on Noah going to stay with Vanessa and even gave him a lift to the train station. Cain felt bad for not being there more for Charity they always promised to be there for each other and he let her down hopefully Charity would come home and he could make things right with her.

“Morning mummy, why did we have to get up so early” Johnny asked as he wiped his eyes.

“Oh I have a surprise for you, we have to go and pick him up from the station, and I thought you’d like to come before I drop you off at school” Vanessa smiled as she made his breakfast.

“Ok mummy thank you” Johnny smiled as she handed him his cereal.

On the way to the station Johnny kept asking who they were picking up she was tempted to tell him to stop all the questions but she didn’t want to ruin the surprise. She knew he missed them no one more than Charity he was always asking to see her and she felt bad from keeping him from her.

“Noah” Johnny yelled as he ran to him.

“Hi little man I’ve missed you too” Noah smiled as he hugged his brother.

“Hi Noah, you seem taller” Vanessa smiled as he placed Johnny back down on the ground.

“Hi Ness, thank you for letting me stay” Noah smiled as he hugged her.

“Noah you live with us is mummy Charity and Moses coming” Johnny asked so excited all he wanted was his family back.

“No sorry little man just me I’ve got my Xbox and when you come back from school we can play some Minecraft ok,” Noah said not wanting him to be upset.

“Ok will you stay with me and mummy forever” Johnny asked hoping he would.

“Johnny let’s get you to school, Noah is staying right now we can talk about all that later” Vanessa said as she placed Johnny back in his car seat.


	3. chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Charity’s been living in Manchester two months now and things were good she was even talking to her dad after her psychiatrist suggested she talk to him and maybe get some closure and it really did help she had another session this morning she still wasn’t ready to speak to her family and Vanessa. The pain was still too deep and she was trying so hard not to go in to that dark hole.

“Good morning Charity” Haley smiled as she came in the room.

“Morning Haley” Charity said as she sat down as much as she hated to admit it Vanessa was right she did need to talk to someone it really was helping.

“Charity have you thought anymore about what I said about writing to Vanessa and your kids explain some things,” Haley asked as she poured them some tea.

“I’m just not ready, I speak to my dad every few days he apologised for the way he treated me he was just so hurt and lost from losing my mum he didn’t know how to get past that pain. I know how that feels when I lost Vanessa I’ve never felt pain like it and I done the same thing to my kids I was a mess. I know my family didn’t help and your right they never treated me right ever really when I think about it they talk about the Dingle code and how you’re supposed to always be there for each other. They’re never really there for me not even during the trial I never really had there support not really” Charity cried it still hurt the way she was treated no one could see she was in pain and they just made her feel so much worse.

“Charity I’m not suggesting you forgive them that’s completely up to you, I know we never really spoke much about it in the last session but why do you feel like you weren’t a good person before Vanessa” Haley asked as she handed Charity the tea.

“Its just how I was made to feel, and believe me I wasn’t a saint, I did some terrible things I tried so hard to make things right with my kids. I miss them so much I know they hate me and I really can’t blame them I just hope one day I can make things right. When I was with Vanessa I was the best version of me I had someone who loved me for me the good and the bad she didn’t judge me about my past she was proud of me and I’ve never had that before. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone I guess I was always afraid of messing it up and losing her and that’s what I did I should have talked to her told her how I was feeling I was lonely and I honestly thought she’d moved on which is stupid. I still don’t know why I did what I did it just doesn’t make sense to me I don’t want anyone else but her,” Charity said wishing things were different.

“From what you’ve told me Charity from your past when you’re hurt or think someone is hurting you, you lash out in a negative way. I think you have some posttraumatic stress from everything you went through in your past. It’s going to take time Charity but you’ll get there, you’re not drinking anymore, you’re raising Moses you are starting to pull your life together and you are a strong person. It sounds to me the only person who’s ever truly been there for you and taken care of you is Vanessa, but you need to remember the same Charity that was happy with her is still there you can be that person again you can be happy again. I know you hate yourself for what you did the pain you caused her I think if you apologised and told her how you felt feel it will make things easier and then finally you’ll be able to move on and start living your life again. Then also when you’re ready reach out to your kids it will be hard but I’m sure they will want to hear from you and if they don’t then try and make things right, and if they still don’t want to then you will just have to try and live with that” Haley said hoping Charity could make things right with her kids.

“Debbie is grown and we’ve fallen out so many times we always make up eventually and Ryan will be easy I haven’t really had the chance to screw him up. I ruined Noah’s life and he hates me same as my granddaughter I’ve always been there for her the best way I could I made so many mistakes. I really don’t know if I can make things right with Johnny not if Vanessa doesn’t want me around him I can’t blame her not after what I did or the way I acted” Charity cried she just wished she could change all the wrong she done.

“Charity she will, from what you told me about her, she will you just need to give her time and when you’re ready ask her. I thought it be good to write all your feelings down so I got you this notebook sort of like a diary I always find it helps” Haley said as she handed Charity the book.

“Ok thank you I’ll try this is all new to me. I never saw myself ever doing this but I’m glad I did it’s really helped. So I’ll see you next week” Charity said as she got up.

“Ok Charity think about what I said I’m sure they’ll want to hear from you,” Haley said as Charity left.

Noah was settled at Vanessa’s she even got him an apprenticeship at a local garage so he could become a mechanic it was good he had experience from working with Cain. Johnny loved having him there and he was happy. He missed his mum they still hadn’t heard from her, he was talking to Sarah and she was doing well she’s living with Belle at the house.

“Hi Noah, how was your day thank you for picking Johnny up” Vanessa said as she came in the house.

“It was no problem I gave him dinner he went to sleep around ten minutes ago, how was your day,” Noah asked.

“It was ok, had to deliver some puppy’s that’s why I was so late home the mum was in distress, thanks for making tea” Vanessa smiled as she started eating Noah was a good cook.

“You’re welcome, I had help from Johnny he like pouring the sauce” Noah smiled.

“Yeah he loves to help, so I’ve been thinking it’s not fair for you to keep sleeping on the sofa so I was thinking of renting a bigger place so you’ll have your own room” Vanessa said this place was just too small.

“We can do if you want I really don’t mind, so you not ready to move back to the village” Noah asked hoping one day they could.

“Not right now no I like living here, maybe one day,” Vanessa sighed she missed living there but it just held to many memories and not all of them were good.

“Ness whenever your ready, that’s ok with me, I like living here too, I know I’ve told you this before but you’re the best step parent I’ve ever had thank you for not turning your back on me” Noah said as he finished eating.

“Noah your my son I love you, I’ll always be here for you” Vanessa smiled he really was a good kid she was lucky to have him in her life.

After her meeting Charity picked Moses up from school and took him to the park he loved going there, he was very adventurous it worried her sometimes when he’d go climbing but he was always ok even when he fell down he was a strong kid.

“Mummy I made the football team” Moses smiled as he finished eating his dinner.

“That’s awesome Moz do you like the new boots I got you” Charity asked as she drank her tea.

“Yes thank you, am I still going to daddy’s house this weekend” Moses asked he wanted to go to training.

“Yes babe you are, but I can speak to daddy if you don’t want to he’ll understand.

“No it’s ok I can go football next week maybe I can go with uncle Pete and play football, daddy not very good” Moses said as he placed his plate in the sink.

“Thank you Moses you’re a really good boy, and no your daddy not good at sports like Uncle Pete” Charity laughed Moses was so much like his uncle.

“Mummy can I go play Fifa before I have to go bed” Moses asked hoping he could.

“Cause you can call me when you want me to read to you” Charity smiled as he darted up stairs he was into video games almost as much as Noah.

Charity decided to watch a movie while he was playing his game he had about half hour before it was his bed time she didn’t want him to fall asleep in class. After putting Moses to bed Charity decided to write Vanessa a letter to try and write down some things she needed to say now that she was sober she was thinking more clearly. It took her so long to write and she didn’t even think she could send it or if Vanessa would read it. Charity placed Vanessa’s ring inside the envelope she couldn’t keep it not anymore it just reminded her of everything she lost.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

It’s been over a week now since Charity sent the letter to Vanessa and she hadn’t heard anything back and it hurt maybe Vanessa just wasn’t ready yet and Haley said that might happen, if she needed time Charity was going to give her it she made the first step that’s all she could do.

“Hello Charity how’s the writing been going” Haley asked as Charity sat down.

“It’s been ok, I’ve just been writing my thoughts it helps me get it out of my head” Charity said it was good to write it all down.

“That’s amazing I’m happy you reached out to Vanessa I know that was difficult for you and when she’s ready she’ll reply it’s all going to take time. Have you thought anymore about talking to your kids” Haley asked hoping there was progress there too.

“No not yet I’m just trying to take one step at a time my dad’s coming up to visit in a few days Moses is excited he’s never met his grandad, it will be strange but I’m looking forward to it my dad seems like a whole new person” Charity smiled.

“That’s good Charity I’m happy for you, that’s a really big step for you, how are things going with your alcohol dependence meeting’s going,” Haley asked knowing how hard it is to stay away from alcohol when you’re an addict.

“It’s been going good it’s nice to hear other people’s stories alcohol has ruined so many people’s lives I’m just grateful I don’t need to drink anymore I never want to go back to that” Charity said she didn’t need alcohol anymore and never again.

“Alcohol is a main course in families breaking apart, once you realise you have a problem and are willing to work on getting sober that is always the hardest step, it’s about taking one day at a time and be willing to go cold turkey” Haley said alcohol was one of the worst drunks because it’s easily available.

“Alcohol is a big part of my family and we drink from an early age, I don’t want that for my kids I don’t want Moses and Johnny to see me how I saw my dad I needed to do this for me and for them” Charity said determined to beat this thing.

“I’m glad you’re doing it for yourself to most relapses occur when your doing it for other people, you must want to change for it to work” Haley said.

“I know it’s going to take time and effort I’m willing to do anything to get my life back on track and be the person my family deserves” Charity said she had to do this.

On the way home, Vanessa popped into her mum’s house after she called and said she had some mail there to pick up. Her mum was still a little upset at Vanessa for moving out, but she couldn’t live with her mum forever and she needed space she was a grown up. Vanessa hadn’t lived with her mum since she went off to college it was never a permanent thing, she couldn’t understand why her mum could be so mad. Vanessa knew who’s handwriting it was straight away she didn’t want her mum to interfere so she just put them all in her bag she would read it tonight when she got home.

“Good evening Vanessa, where’s my grandson” Valerie asked as she handed Vanessa a cup of tea.

“He’s at home with Noah, I can’t stay long mum how have you been” Vanessa asked as she sat down.

“I’m well, I don’t see why you and Johnny can’t live here why can’t Noah go home to his mother you’re not with Charity anymore it time for you to move on find someone and settle down” Valerie said hoping one day Vanessa will find a nice man and settle down.

“Mum, Noah is my son, look thanks for the tea I’ve really got to go” Vanessa sighed not wanting to have another argument with her mum that’s all they seemed to do at the moment.

After leaving Vanessa drove home, she knew she needed to read Charity’s letter so she parked outside her house and sat in her car to read it she wanted to know what was in there before telling Noah.

**_“Hi Ness I’ve been sat here the last few hours trying to figure out what to say, I’m not to good at this but I’m getting help you was right I needed to talk to someone. I know you never wanted to see me again, after what I did and I don’t blame you. I hate myself for hurting you, you were the best thing to ever happen to me, I love you and Johnny bobs so much. I miss him Vanessa and I would like to see him if that’s ok with you I understand if you don’t want me to._ **

**_I’m so, so sorry for hurting you the way I did for causing you pain, I don’t want to make excuses anymore and there really was no excuse for what I did I should never have let him kiss me but I swear to you there never was an affair it was just one stupid kiss. Months after we broke up and I was very drunk I stupidly slept with him it meant nothing to me I just wasn’t coping well and everyone said I needed to move on but I never could not really you’re it for me Ness._ **

**_I was a mess after we broke up and I drank myself silly every night it was the only thing to numb the pain. I let my kids down and everyone turned on me I lost everything my kids hate me and I really don’t blame them I tried to make things right I tried to help Noah I never meant to ruin his life, or hurt Debbie. I’ve made so many mistakes in my life and the biggest one was losing you and my kids. My so called family was no help they just wasn’t there for me I needed help I shouldn’t be surprised they’re never really there for me like I’m always there for them._ **

**_I just want you to know I love you so much I’ll never stop loving you, you’re it for me and I know I don’t deserve you not anymore not after what I did, you’re the love of my life Ness and I hope one day you can forgive me. I’ll leave you my address and phone number if you want to talk Moses and I are happy where we are he misses you and Johnny too so much._ **

**_I’m sober now Ness and I have been since I left Emmerdale I have a job, and I’m getting my life on track. I hope that one day you’ll want to see me and Moses he doesn’t blame you he knows I messed up and I’m the reason for everything._ **

**_I can’t keep your ring Ness I gave it to you it’s yours to keep or not that’s up to you. I just want you to be happy Vanessa even if that’s not with me. I’ll be here waiting for whenever you’re ready to speak to me all my love Charity x”_ **

Vanessa was in tears reading it, it hurt to know she slept with that guy, after all the crap Noah told her about him and how he almost set Charity up she hated him for what he did. She was happy Charity was getting help she missed her and Moses so much. Vanessa knew she had to go inside and tell Noah and give him her number so he could talk to his mum he’s missed her so much.

“Hi Ness Johnny fell asleep so I just put him to bed you ok you look upset” Noah asked he could tell she’d been crying.

“Your mum wrote to me, here’s her number, she seems happy Noah I know you want to talk to her I’m going to go and have a shower give you some space” Vanessa said as she handed him the note.

“Thanks Ness” Noah smiled he wanted to speak to her so bad he had so much he wanted to say.

“Hello” Charity said as she answered the phone not expecting a phone call.

“Hi mum” Noah broke out it was so good to hear her voice he’s never gone this long without talking to her.

“Noah, how, how did you get my number” Charity cried she missed him.

“I live with Vanessa have done for months she gave it to me, I’ve missed you so much mum I’m so sorry for the way I treated you I should have helped you more” Noah said he needed her to know.

“You have nothing to be sorry for I was a mess Noah I didn’t handle things well I’ve missed you to so much I’m so happy you called me I wish I had the courage to speak to you sooner I just didn’t feel ready” Charity cried none of this was her son’s fault.

“Mum can I see you and Moses” Noah asked he missed his brother too.

“I would love you too maybe if its ok with Vanessa I’ll come down to Leeds that way I can see you and Johnny” Charity suggested hoping that would be ok.

“Vanessa should be down soon you can speak to her then, mum I’m doing well I’m settled here. How are things in Manchester” Noah asked as he noticed her address on the note.

“Things are good I’m happy Noah I have a job I’m getting help I should have got help sooner I’m sorry I didn’t. My dad is coming to visit I made things right with him he would like to meet you too, I told him all about you” Charity smiled.

“Mum is it ok for me to call you,” Noah asked hoping he could.

“Noah you can talk to me whenever you want I’m sorry for not being there for you I wasn’t trying to abandon you again I just needed to sort myself out and be the mum you deserve” Charity said she should never have kept away from him for so long he was her boy and he needed her.

“I love you mum so much I don’t hate you I never did I was just angry I didn’t mean the words I said to you” Noah said glad he could take back the words he said.

“I know you didn’t babe I love you too so much” Charity cried she was so happy to have her boy back.

“Mum I’ll just hand you to Ness” Noah said as he held his phone out.

“Noah, I’m not ready” Vanessa whispered not wanting Charity to hear her.

“Please” Noah whispered back not wanting to hurt his mum again.

“Hi Ness” Charity broke out after moments of silence.

“Hi Charity, erm how, how are you” Vanessa stumbled on what to say not expecting this conversation.

“I’m getting there how are you,” Charity asked feeling so nervous.

“I’m well, Charity we need to come up with some arrangements so you can see Johnny and I can see Moses if that’s something you want to do” Vanessa asked it was wrong to keep Johnny from her she was his mum.

“I would love that thank you, I was thinking this weekend I could come down to Leeds if that’s ok with you,” Charity asked hoping she could.

“That’s fine, I’ll give you back to Noah now, and Charity I’m happy you’re getting help” Vanessa said as she handed the phone back to Noah.

“Well I better go mum it’s late and I have work in the morning I’ll ring you tomorrow bye mum love you” Noah smiled.

“Love you to goodnight Noah” Charity smiled as she hung up things were going to be good again she could feel it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

It’s been a few days since Charity spoke to Noah and Vanessa Moses was excited to speak to them and Noah kept his promise and rang her every day. Today Charity was nervous she was seeing her dad for the first time in years. He booked a hotel in the centre for a couple of nights, as Charity’s place is too small.

“Hi dad” Charity said as she let him in.

“Hello Charity, it’s so good to see you,” Obadiah said as he walked through the door.

“Hi Grandad” Moses smiled as he walked over to him.

“Hi little man, I got you some presents” Obadiah smiled as he handed him the bag.

“Thank you” Moses smiled as he started opening them up.

“Dad you didn’t need to do that” Charity smiled Moses was so excited.

“I know I wanted to I don’t want to mess this up I want to be a better grandfather than I was a father. I need to make things right with you Charity I made so many mistakes, I promise you I won’t hurt you again. I need you in my life I was just too stupid to realise that before” Obadiah said as he sat down.

“Dad let’s just start a fresh and not dwell on the past, would you like a cup of tea” Charity asked as she put the kettle on.

“Yes please thank you, I left the receipt in the bag if they’re the wrong size, I don’t know if you like rugby Moses, I love it, do you remember when I used to take you to the games Charity” Obadiah asked.

“Yes dad I do, I used to love going with you” Charity smiled it was a weekly thing for them up until her mum died when everything changed.

“I’m sorry I stopped talking you, I’m sorry I was such a mess after we lost your mum” Obadiah said as Moses put the shirt on.

“He’s a true Yorkshire lad now, maybe one time you could both come to a game with me I haven’t been since I last took you would be nice, that is if you want to Charity” Obadiah asked hoping they could.

“Can we please mum, we can take Johnny and Noah,” Moses asked as he took the ball out of the box.

“Ok we can do that, thanks dad I never really watched again I sort of lost interest in sport Moses loves football I’m sure he’ll love rugby too, might get some looks wearing that down here” Charity smiled she was happy things were going well with her dad and Moses.

“Granddad what team is this,” Moses asked as he took another kit out of the bag.

“This is an England jersey, they sold them in the shop so I thought I’d get you a Leeds Rhino kit and an England one, so you can cheer on England when they play” Obadiah smiled as Moses came over and handed him the ball.

“Granddad can we play later before you have to go” Moses asked hoping they could.

“Cause we can if it’s ok with your mum” Obadiah said he couldn’t really move around anymore but he could teach him how to throw it.

“Dad are you sure you’re ok to do that how’s your illness now” Charity asked not wanting him to hurt himself Moses was very energetic.

“I’ll be ok, I’ve been doing a lot better lately I guess I have things to live for now” Obadiah smiled as she handed him a cup of tea.

“I’m glad you’re doing ok, I’m happy you’re here dad I want to get to know you and for you to know my kids” Charity said she truly meant that it was time for her to give people a chance just like she hoped she’d get from her family. 

Vanessa has had a long day during her lunch break she checked out the new house to make sure they had everything for when they move in next week. She thought about Charity today she really hoped things went well with her dad she knew that was a really big deal for Charity letting him back in her life she didn’t want her to get hurt again. These last couple of days talking to Charity has really put some things into perspective. She knew now she was also at fault for their break up she should have been more honest with Charity and called her more, she had been ignoring her not that she meant to she just had a lot going on. Vanessa wasn’t ready to forgive Charity or for them to get back together to much had happened but she wanted to at least be friends for the sake of their kids.

“Hi Ness, how’s the house” Noah asked as he came through the door.

“It’s good, how was work, I made dinner it’s in the microwave” Vanessa said as she turned the TV off.

“Thanks Ness work was good I helped rebuild an engine,” Noah said as he washed his hands not wanting to get the place dirty.

“That’s good, Johnny fell asleep waiting up for you I said you’ll take him to school in the morning he’s excited about that” Vanessa smiled she loved the relationship they had Noah was such a good big brother.

“Don’t worry Ness no sweets this time I don’t want Johnny to get in trouble. I spoke to mum earlier she said she’ll be arriving around 5 on Friday she’s dropping her dad off then coming here are you sure it’s still ok” Noah asked not wanting her to feel pressured into this.

“It’s fine honestly Johnny really wants to see her and Moses. I also need to talk to her we need to make some arrangements” Vanessa said it will be hard to see Charity she’s still not over what happened but she had to stop thinking about herself she couldn’t continue keeping Johnny from Charity she’s his mum too and she missed Moses so much too it wasn’t fair on the boys.

“So you know how I’ve got my license now well mum sent me some money to buy a car so I’ve been working on this car at work my boss said I can buy it it’s a 1977 Ford Mustang he was going to scrap it because of the state of it, but I insisted I could fix it up. It still has a lot of work to be done so is it still ok to use your car,” Noah asked as he started eating his dinner.

“Cause you can I know how much you love classic cars your lucky to get one I know they’re not cheap” Vanessa said he really was going to be a good mechanic it must be a family thing.

“The money mum sent me should cover the costs, and with me fixing it up I’ll save a lot of money. I spoke to Sarah earlier I gave her mum’s number she wants to talk to her, she sends her love and she said during the summer if its ok with you she’d like to come over” Noah said knowing Vanessa wouldn’t mind she misses Sarah too.

“That would be awesome, I hope Sarah and your mum can work things out I know how much they love each other your mum would do anything for her. I just want her to be happy again Noah your mum deserves happiness,” Vanessa said would be good for Charity and Sarah to be close again.

“I’m going to go and have a shower, good night Ness thanks for dinner,” Noah said as he put his plate in the sink.

“Good night Noah I’m going to have an early night it’s been a long day” Vanessa smiled as she went upstairs.

Charity has just got back home from dropping her dad off at the hotel, Moses fell asleep in the car on the way back poor little thing knackered himself out. It was a really good day with her dad he reminded her of when she was little before everything went to shit. Charity was happy she let him back in her life he really did seem like he changed. After placing Moses in bed Charity decided to watch some TV before bed.

“Hi gran” Sarah said as she answered the phone.

“Hi Sarah” Charity said in shock it’s been so long since she spoke to her and the last things she said weren’t nice.

“Gran I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you I was just hurt and angry I don’t want you to die, can you please forgive me I miss you,” Sarah asked feeling bad about what she said.

“Sarah I’m sorry for how I was acting I was a mess, but I’m doing good now, I’m getting my life back on track, none of this is your fault ok. How is your mum and Jack,” Charity asked hoping they’re well.

“They’re good, we’re happy in Scotland mum’s thinking about selling the house,” Sarah said so happy to be speaking to her gran again.

“That’s good, I’ll always be there for you Sarah you can call me whenever you want ok I’m sorry I didn’t get in touch I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me” Charity said she really should have kept in touch with the kids.

“Thanks gran I’m part to blame too I don’t blame you not after what I said, well I better go I have school in the morning, goodnight gran love you” Sarah said not wanting to get in trouble with her mum.

“Goodnight Sarah love you too” Charity smiled now she just needed to make things right with Debbie and Ryan then she’ll have her family which is more than she thought she’d have months ago.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Charity was on her way to see Vanessa, Noah and Johnny she felt nervous, she just dropped her dad home, Moses fell asleep on the journey he was so excited bless him. It had been a good few days with her dad they talked more than they ever had he told her he was proud of her and all he wants is for her to be happy that really meant a lot she was happy things were going good.

Vanessa thought about telling Johnny where they were going but she didn’t want to ruin the surprise she knew how much he missed Charity and Moses he was going to be so happy. She felt nervous it’s been so long since she last saw her she just wanted things to go well.

“Mummy why are we here” Johnny asked he really hoped they weren’t going shopping.

“Oh I don’t know Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she came up behind him.

“Mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he jumped in her arms.

“I missed you too Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“Hi mummy Ness” Moses smiled as he hugged her.

“Hi wiggle bum I’ve missed you so much,” Vanessa cried as she held him.

“Hi Moz, mummy we go play” Johnny asked as he held out his hand for his brother.

“Cause you can” Vanessa smiled as they went over to the fountain’s.

“Hi mum, it’s so good to see you” Noah smiled as he hugged his mum.

“I’ve missed you so much Noah, it’s so good to see you,” Charity cried she never wanted to lose him again.

“I’m going to go and watch the boys make sure they don’t get in trouble give you a moment to talk” Noah said he knew they needed to talk.

“Hi Ness, it’s so good to see you, you look well, do you want to grab a coffee” Charity asked.

“Hi Charity ok we can do that we do have things to discuss” Vanessa said as they went headed for the café.

“So how are you Ness, this all feels really strange doesn’t it,” Charity said feeling nervous she just wanted everything to go well.

“Yes it does, I don’t know why I’m so nervous. Charity there’s somethings I need to say” Vanessa said as she took a sip of coffee, this was going to be hard for her.

“Ok, before you do I just want to say how sorry I am for hurting you like I did I still don’t understand how I could do that to you I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone and it kills me the pain I’ve caused you” Charity cried.

“Charity I don’t really want to talk about that, look I was wrong to keep you from Johnny when I sent you that letter I was so angry, that you could do that to me. I will always love you, but I meant it Charity I can’t be with you anymore. I want you in Johnny’s life and I’d like to be in Moses’s life. Noah is living with me he’s happy with me, but he’s your son so I’d understand if you want him with you. I just want you to be happy Charity I’m glad you’re getting help, I wish I’d helped you get help sooner then maybe this wouldn’t have happened” Vanessa said she needed to know how she felt.

“Ness none of this is on you, I’m the screw up, I don’t blame you for not wanting to be with me, I want you to be happy too. Noah is your son so is Moses if Noah wants to live with you I’m ok with that. I just want him to be happy and have a good life I know he’s safe with you Ness. Ross has Moses every other weekend so if we could alternate where I would have them one weekend and you have them the other, or during summer we can have them during the week, whatever works best for you. Thank you for letting me be in Johnny’s life it means everything to me” Charity smiled.

“Charity you’re his mum it was wrong of me to keep him from you, he loves you and misses you,” Vanessa said as she finished her coffee.

“I miss him to Ness so much, I swear to you I won’t let you down again, I was thinking if it’s ok with you we could take the boys to the park,” Charity suggested wanting the boys to have fun.

“Sounds good, so how did things go with your dad, I was in shock when you said you were seeing him after what happened” Vanessa said as they were leaving the café.

“It was really nice he seems like he’s changed he was so good with Moses in a few weeks I’ll be back down we’re going to see the rugby, I was wondering if we could take Johnny you’re welcome to come as well I know you like football” Charity said as they made their way back over to the boys.

“The boys would love it are you sure I haven’t been to a game in years I used to go with my grandad” Vanessa said not wanting to intrude.

“I would love for you to come so would the boys” Charity smiled as Johnny ran in to her arms.

“Mummy Charity where we going now” Johnny smiled so glad he’s back with her he’s missed her so much.

“How about we grab some McDonalds and then we can got to the park how does that sound,” Charity asked as she carried him.

“Can I have nuggets,” Johnny asked.

“Cause you can Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she placed him down and held his hand.

“Mummy Ness can I have chocolate milkshake” Moses asked hoping he could.

“Sure as it special occasion would you like nuggets too,” Vanessa said as she held his hand.

“Yes please, I’ve got my football in the car can we play in the park” Moses asked.

“Sounds good, maybe when you come over we can go see a game, but first we need to get you and your brother a Leeds shirt can’t have you supporting Man U or City can we” Vanessa laughed.

“Thank you, mummy got me football stuff but it wasn’t a team mummy not really into football, but she tries she takes me to the park and we kick the ball around” Moses smiled.

“I’m not that great either I’m more of a watcher, Noah takes Johnny to the park to play” Vanessa said as they arrived at the McDonald’s.

“Ness I’ll order the food do you want a chicken wrap,” Charity asked as the boys sat next to Vanessa at one of the tables.

“Yes please, thank you, so boys would you like to do some colouring in while mummy Charity gets our food,” Vanessa said as she took some arts and crafts stuff out of her bag.

“Mummy are Moses and mummy Charity going to live here,” Johnny asked as he started drawing.

“No, Johnny they live in Manchester but we’re going to see them all the time ok and sometimes you’ll go and visit them like Moses will be coming here” Vanessa tried explaining to him he was still so young.

“Why can’t we live with them” Johnny asked it didn’t make sense to him.

“Johnny you’re too young to understand, mummy Charity and I are no longer together, so we can’t live together, but we both love you boys so much that we’re going to make this new arrangement work, you’ll be spending so much time with Charity and Moses things are going to be ok” Vanessa said hoping he wouldn’t get upset.

“Noah you’ll still live with us right” Johnny asked.

“Yeah I will be, and when we move to the new house there’ll be more room for Moses to stay too,” Noah said as he helped Johnny with his drawing.

“Ok, so we’re all still brothers and mummy Charity is still my mummy” Johnny asked.

“Yes they are, and they always will be” Vanessa said glad he was understanding what’s going on.

“Do you still love mummy Charity,” Johnny asked.

“I will always love her Johnny but things are complicated,” Vanessa said not wanting to get into this again.

“Mummy Charity still loves you I think you should be together again but ok” Johnny said as he continued drawing.

“Mummy Ness can you help me with the hands I can’t draw them” Moses asked as he handed her the pen.

“Cause I can, Noah do you want to go and help your mum carry over the food” Vanessa suggested when she noticed Charity struggling.

After they left McDonalds, they headed to the shop so Vanessa could buy the boys their football shirts like she promised Moses. While Vanessa was in the sports shop with them, Charity went into the game shop with Noah to get them some games.

“You look so cute in your kits” Vanessa smiled as she took a picture.

“Thank you mummy we go play football now” Johnny asked he didn’t want to shop anymore.

“Ok let’s go get mummy Charity and Noah they should be finished now” Vanessa smiled as she took their hands to walk out the shop.

“Mummy Charity what you get” Johnny asked as he ran over to her.

“Well Johnny bobs that’s a surprise” Charity smiled as he hugged her boy she missed him.

“I like surprise is it for me,” Johnny asked.

“Maybe I’ll give it to you later when we finished at the park” Charity laughed as he pouted at her he was so cute.

“No fair please can I have it now I’ve been a good boy” Johnny asked knowing she could never say no to him.

“Oh ok go on then here you go” Charity smiled as she handed him the bag.

“Thank you, you’re the best” Johnny smiled as he opened the bag.

“Charity you didn’t need to buy him anything” Vanessa said as she approached them.

“I know I wanted to I spoke with Noah and he said he didn’t have one so I bought one Moses has one at home” Charity said as Johnny hugged her.

“Thank you I wanted one of these for ages, look Noah I have a switch” Johnny smiled.

“I know good init, I got you a couple of games too, don’t worry Ness kid friendly games” Noah smiled.

“I got you a few games as well Moses Noah said you’ll like them” Charity smiled as she handed him the games.

“Thank you mummy” Moses smiled as he hugged her.

When they arrived at the park, Noah took the boys to play football leaving Vanessa and Charity on the bench with their bags and coats.

“Moses has got so big” Vanessa smiled as she watched them play football.

“I know he’s going to be a big lad like Pete he loves sport, I’m hoping he doesn’t start playing rugby though don’t want him to get hurt, thankfully won’t need to worry about that until he’s a teenager doubt they make six year olds play rugby” Charity said hoping that was the case.

“Don’t think they do not at their age, Moses told me on the way here he’s in a football team” Vanessa said he was so happy.

“He is, he loves it our local team at the minute is Man Utd and Ross told me if I take him he’ll fight me for custody saying I can’t do that to our boy I don’t see what the big deal is it’s just a football match” Charity said still not getting why she can’t take him.

“I can’t tell if you’re being serious or not, you can’t seriously want to take him to a Man Utd game it’s got to be Leeds we back in the premiership we don’t like them they don’t like us” Vanessa said in shock.

“Why do people take it so seriously it’s only a game, doubt Moses will be any other team now not with you and Ross. So what if Johnny came home one day and said he didn’t support Leeds and wanted to support another team,” Charity asked.

“Please don’t say something like that, he’ll be Leeds like his brothers and if by some chance he does I’ll explain that we don’t support other teams in this house” Vanessa smiled.

“Oh don’t worry I don’t think it’ll happen not after we take them to a game, they’ve already got a kit they can’t really turn back now can they” Charity said as she took a drink out of the bag.

“Today’s been a good day the boys love it, I know we haven’t really talked much about how were getting on, so how has therapy been going” Vanessa asked she was so proud of her for getting help.

“Today’s been amazing, thank you for letting me be here I know this can’t be easy for you not after what I did. I just wish I got help sooner, at first it was weird you know how I am with my feelings and talking to people but after a couple of sessions I was comfortable with her. She got me writing my feelings down that helps too I just have to take one day at a time. I don’t drink anymore I don’t think I ever will again. So how have you been Ness how’s your health” Charity asked she looked well but she wanted to make sure nothing had returned.

“I’m well, still in remission I work for a local veterinary clinic like I did in Emmerdale, Johnny likes his school. I’m so proud you got help Charity I know that wasn’t easy for you, I don’t really drink much now either maybe it’s a good thing you don’t have the pub anymore. I’m so sorry your family were so hard on you and made you feel worthless I should have come home and talked to you helped you get help sooner. I forgive you Charity and I’d like us to at least be friends again,” Vanessa said she knew she needed her in her life.

“I want you in my life Ness more than anything, it would be good for the boys to see us getting on. I never expected you to forgive me but that means everything to me, thank you” Charity smiled she was happy things were going to be ok she could feel it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

It’s been a few weeks now since Charity and Moses went down to Leeds to see Vanessa, Noah and Johnny. Things were going really well Johnny has been to stay a couple of times and Moses loves having his brother with him. Next week Vanessa should be moved into her new house so Moses was going to stay there for a week before going to Ross’s. Charity knew she was going to miss her boy. Charity was taking a course on business management she knew she needed to have a new career she couldn’t work in a pub anymore. Things were going well in her job it was her boss who put her in touch with the course.

Charity was talking to Vanessa most days she was so happy to have her in her life again, they talk more now than when she went to stay at her mums before that whole mess started. Charity knew she couldn’t mess this up again she couldn’t lose Vanessa again.

Things still wasn’t good with Debbie she told Sarah she could give the family her number and if they wanted to talk she said she would. No one has reached out to her so she wasn’t going to do the ringing this time she was stronger than before and she wasn’t going to beg for them to be in her life. She spoke to Ryan every few days and he was happy his career was going well and she was proud of him he promised when he had some free time he’s come and visit he was happy she was doing well.

“Hi gran, so I was thinking can I come over and visit” Sarah asked as she answered the phone.

“Hi Sarah of course you can if it’s ok with your mum, how is she doing” Charity asked it hurts not being able to talk to her daughter and she hopes one day Debbie will forgive her for the mistakes she’s made.

“She’s happy, she has a new boyfriend Jaxson seems like a nice guy, he has a son Conner same age as Jack they been seeing each other a couple of months. Gran, mum’s here would you like to talk to her,” Sarah asked she could go downstairs and give her mum the phone she wanted them to talk again.

“I would love to talk to your mum Sarah but if she’s not ready to we have to respect that, I hurt her, I’m going to make things right with her. I love my daughter I just hope one day she can forgive me,” Charity cried as tears formed in her eyes.

“Hi mum” Debbie said as she heard what her mum said.

“Debbie, I, how are you” Charity said in shock.

“Mum I’ll leave you two to talk” Sarah said as she handed her mum the phone and left her room.

“Debbie I’m so, so sorry for what I did, I was a mess not that, that’s an excuse, I never meant to hurt you” Charity cried she knew she had so much she needed to say.

“It’s ok mum, Sarah told me you were getting help I’m glad, I thought about calling you I just wasn’t ready. It wasn’t all your fault I’m sorry I took it all out on you I should have come home sooner to help you, I should have known you wouldn’t have coped with losing Vanessa. I shouldn’t have kicked you out of the house. I put your things in storage I sold the house I’m happy in Scotland” Debbie said as she sat on Sarah’s bed.

“Thank you I’ll come and get them if you could send me the details thank you for not throwing it out I wouldn’t have blamed you. Sarah wants to come over to visit if that’s ok with you,” Charity asked hoping she could.

“Ok, it will have to be during the summer holiday as she’s got school, Noah said Moses is going to stay with Vanessa during half term, how is he doing” Debbie asked hoping her little brother was ok.

“Yeah he’s good he loves football. I don’t want you to hear this from anyone else, I’m talking to my dad he’s back in my life. He would like to meet you all if you’re ok with that, I can text Sarah his number if you would like to talk to him. I should have sorted things out with my dad years ago I’m sorry about that” Charity said wanting her to know.

“Wow wasn’t expecting that, so you forgave him then that was brave of you dad told me what a piece of work he was” Debbie said in shock.

“Your dad wasn’t wrong he was a nightmare, I sort of understand it now he was lost after losing my mum, I understand that pain Debbie I drank just like him when I lost Ness, it took me losing everything before I could get help. He’s changed he’s like the dad I remember before my mum died” Charity said.

“Well that’s good I’m happy for you mum, well I better go, it was nice talking to you, I’ll text you if that’s ok” Debbie asked hoping she could she wanted her mum back in her life.

“Of course you can, I love you Debbie you will always be my baby girl I’m so sorry forever hurting you I promise you I won’t let you down again” Charity smiled determined to make things right with all her kids.

“I love you to bye mum” Debbie said as she hung up.

Today was the day Vanessa, Noah and Johnny were finally moving into their new house, she had everything ready now. Noah done most of the decorating when he wasn’t at work he didn’t want Vanessa to work too hard he still worried about her. Johnny was excited he was still confused on why mummy Charity and Moses couldn’t live with them but he was happy gets to see them again.

“Hi Ness everything’s packed I told the removers we’ll meet them at the house, you ready to go” Noah asked as he took his bag with his clothes in.

“Ok, Johnny you ready to go” Vanessa asked as he made his way over to them.

“Mummy what time is mummy Charity coming with Moses,” Johnny asked as he took her hand.

“Mummy Charity coming this afternoon once we’ve unpacked all our things, Noah it’s a good thing we decided on new furniture or it would take days” Vanessa said she hated clutter.

“Would you like me to drive” Noah asked as she strapped Johnny in his car seat.

“Ok thank you, how’s your car coming along” Vanessa asked as she got in the car.

“It’s going good I’m just waiting for some parts I reckon a few more weeks and it will be good to go” Noah smiled as he started driving them to their new home.

“That’s good I can’t wait to go for a ride in it, how did your exam go, you should be qualified soon” Vanessa asked he’s worked so hard to get where he is.

“I get my results in a few days, then I’ll be a mechanic, I couldn’t have done this without you Ness thank you for believing in me,” Noah said as stopped the car outside the new house.

“Your welcome I know you can do this I’m so proud of you and I know your mum is too, you’re a good kid Noah,” Vanessa smiled she felt blessed to have him in their lives.

After settling in Vanessa made them something to eat Charity and Moses should be here soon Johnny was so excited to show Moses their room. Noah liked having his own space again and even set up his gaming pc so he could play games again in his spare time.

“Hi Ness I’m going to put the kettle on mum should be any minute” Noah said as he made his way in the kitchen.

“Mummy Charity here” Johnny asked as he ran down the stairs.

“Not yet Johnny and what have I told you about running like that,” Vanessa said as he jumped on the sofa next to her.

“Sorry, so how long” Johnny asked just as he saw a car pull up.

“I guess there here now, I’ll get the door” Vanessa said as she got up.

“Mummy Charity” Johnny yelled as he flung himself in her arms.

“Hi Johnny bobs I’ve missed you too little man” Charity laughed he didn’t even let her walk through the door before he jumped into her arms.

“Hi mummy Ness” Moses said as he wiped his eyes he’s still tired from just waking up.

“Hi wiggle bum” Vanessa smiled as she hugged him.

“Hi Ness, so this is your new place looks nice” Charity said as she walked through the door carrying Johnny.

“Hi Charity, thank you how was the drive” Vanessa asked as they sat down on the sofa.

“Was ok we hit a bit of traffic I think that’s why Moses fell asleep he was so excited to be coming he seems more lively now” Charity smiled as he was playing with Johnny.

“Dinner should be ready in about ten minutes if you’d like to stay for dinner,” Vanessa asked hoping she’d say yes.

“Ok thank you, hi Noah” Charity smiled as he came in the room holding two cups of tea.

“Hi mum, Moses how you doing” Noah asked as he sat down.

“We’re good, in the morning I’m driving to Hotten, Debbie put our stuff in storage I’m going to go through it Ness if you want anything” Charity asked.

“Would it be ok if I came with you I have some things I would like” Vanessa asked hoping that was ok she didn’t want to make things awkward.

“Cause you can their, your things too Ness. I’ve booked a hotel for the night there’s no point me driving back home tonight, I can come pick you up in the morning” Charity said happy Vanessa wanted to spend time with her without the kids.

“Ok thank you, Noah are you ok to watch the boys for a few hours,” Vanessa asked.

“Sure I’m not working tomorrow I can take the boys to the park for a couple of hours will be fun” Noah said happy to help he wanted them to be like they used to be.

“Mummy Charity you stay here, you don’t need to stay in hotel,” Johnny said as he jumped in her lap.

“Oh Johnny I want to be with you but there’s really not enough room I’m ok to stay at a hotel” Charity said not wanting to hurt him she didn’t want to put Vanessa in an awkward situation.

“We have loads of room, don’t we mummy, please stay I want you too,” Johnny said as he hugged her.

“Charity it’s ok, if you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa, he really wants you here I honestly don’t mind” Vanessa said not wanting to upset Johnny again he was still finding this all hard to deal with.

“Ok if you’re sure I don’t want to make things weird,” Charity said she knew this was hard for Vanessa after everything that’s happened.

“So you’re staying, come we eat dinner” Johnny smiled as he took her hand to drag her into the kitchen.

“Johnny bobs, when did you get so bossy you’re just like your mummy” Charity smiled as she followed him.

Dinner went well was nice to have a family meal again it felt just like old times. Charity hoped that one day they could be a family again and she was going to do everything she could to make that happen.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Charity awoke to Johnny jumping on the end of the sofa, she wondered where he got all his energy from he was a lot more lively than before, she could tell he was going to be tall he was already taller than Moses.

“Morning Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she hugged him.

“Morning mummy Charity we have breakfast” Johnny asked as he got up.

“Ok, where’s Moses” Charity asked not seeing him there too.

“He’s still asleep so’s mummy. Can we have coco pops” Johnny asked as he sat down at the table.

“Cause you can” Charity smiled as she made his breakfast.

“Mummy Charity why can’t you live here” Johnny asked he still didn’t understand why she couldn’t.

“Johnny you’re still so young to understand” Charity sighed as she handed him his breakfast.

“Don’t you want to live with us,” Johnny asked as she placed him on her lap.

“Of course I do, but right now I can’t do that,” Charity cried as she held him she never wanted him to feel like he wasn’t wanted.

“But why, why can’t we live together like we did before I miss you and Moses” Johnny asked.

“Johnny I made a big mistake and I hurt mummy really bad and made her cry so I don’t get to be with mummy anymore” Charity cried this was hard for her to try to explain.

“Did you say sorry, do you still love mummy,” Johnny asked.

“I love your mummy more than I’ve ever loved anyone, but sometimes sorry isn’t enough. I made a lot of mistakes in my life Johnny but the biggest one was losing you and your mum. I’m getting help now to make me better so I can stop doing stupid things, I hope one day we’ll be a family again,” Charity said as he hugged her.

“I hope so too mummy Charity, mummy still loves you too” Johnny said as he wiped her tears he didn’t like to see her cry.

“I love you so much Johnny bobs you’re such a sweet boy” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“I love you too mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he started eating his breakfast.

Vanessa heard everything that was said she wanted to go in there and tell Charity how much she still loves her and she wants them to get back together but she knows she not ready for that. Her trust was broken and until she knows without doubt, she can trust her she couldn’t risk her already broken heart. Vanessa knew she had to wipe her eyes before going in the kitchen not wanting them to worry.

“Morning Ness” Charity smiled as she came in the room.

“Morning Charity, morning Johnny” Vanessa smiled as she took a seat.

“Morning mummy, I’m going to go upstairs and get Moses” Johnny smiled as he got up.

“Ness I’ll put the kettle on would you like a cup of tea,” Charity asked as she made her way over to the counter.

“Yes please thanks Charity” Vanessa smiled this felt like it did before she’s knew one day they could have this again she had to believe that the love was still there she knew that.

The drive to Hotten was mostly quite Vanessa had so much to think about, she knew it was going to be difficult to go through their things together it feels like a divorce without them ever being married. Vanessa wanted to get past everything that had happened in the past but she just couldn’t it still hurt too much.

“Ness I was thinking after we’ve gone through everything we can grab something to eat, if you wanted too” Charity asked as she parked the car.

“Ok, we can do that, are you planning on seeing any of your family while your down” Vanessa asked she was tempted to see Tracy but didn’t want the drama of her being still so angry with Charity.

“No, I won’t be I’m still not talking to them and they haven’t bothered about me, I’ve come to the realisation that I’m there for them and they’re never really there for me. I can’t do that anymore Ness and I was kicked out of the family before I left so they won’t want to see me anyway,” Charity said as she was looking for the locker with their things in.

“Hopefully one day you’ll feel differently, I hate that they never helped you from what Noah said you needed help,” Vanessa said as they walked around.

“Found it, some of the stuff we may have to keep in here as my flat is too small unless you want it,” Charity said as they made their way inside.

“I didn’t realise we had so much” Vanessa said noticing all the boxes.

“It’s mostly the kids stuff, Debbie said she named all the boxes she didn’t know what we wanted to keep so it’s all in there. Why don’t we start with the boxes at the top work are way through” Charity suggested as she started opening the boxes.

“Do you want us to decide who get’s what photos,” Vanessa asked as she opened a box full of photo’s and albums.

“Ok we can put that box to the side and go through them when we’ve finished” Charity sighed maybe this wasn’t a good idea seeing their things here like this made her feel like crap again it just reminds her of everything she’s lost.

“Ok, I doubt the boys will want most of these toys but I’ll put them in the car and they can go through them when I get home” Vanessa said as she started taking some of the boxes to the car, she could tell Charity needed a minute she seemed upset.

While Vanessa went to the car Charity went through the box of their clothes, so she separated them in piles, when Vanessa came back she sat next to her and helped her sort them neither knew what to say to each other it all just seemed so final that they’re life together has ended like this.

“Charity we can go through the photo’s another day if you’re not ready to do this, there’s not much left for us to sort through now,” Vanessa suggested breaking the silence.

“No I’ll be ok, thanks Ness for being here today I don’t think I could have done this without you” Charity smiled as she helped Vanessa with the box.

“Let me know which pictures you want Charity I have copies on my phone of the ones I took” Vanessa said as she sat next to Charity and handed her some of the frames.

“Ok, thanks Ness, we were so happy here you know I wish I could change everything bad that happened that day it’s one day I wish I could do over. Maybe if we’d have married that day we wouldn’t be apart now” Charity sighed as she pulled out the photo of them on what was supposed to be there wedding day.

“I wish we had got married that day to Charity, I still have good memories from that day we need to just remember the good stuff. I heard what you said to Johnny this morning Charity I know how much you still love me. I still love you too I always will I just don’t trust you, maybe in time I will learn to trust you again. I want us to get to back to that moment, I want to know for certainty without any doubt that we’ll make it that we’ll be together forever and that we’ll never hurt each other again. I know I could never go through another break up and I know you couldn’t either,” Vanessa said as she placed the photo down.

“I will never love another you’re it for me Ness, but your right losing you nearly killed me I couldn’t go through that again either. I want us to be together more than anything but I want you to be happy Ness even if that’s not with me. I know I need to re earn your trust,” Charity said as she handed Vanessa some more pictures.

“I don’t want anyone else either Charity, I’m not ready for that or if I’ll ever be ready for that. It wouldn’t be fair on them when I’m still in love with you” Vanessa smiled she forgot about some of these pictures.

“Ness I think you should have the pictures I’ll just take a couple of us and some with the kids” Charity said as she got up she needed some air.

“Charity are you ok was it something I said” Vanessa said as she got up to go after her.

“No, it’s not you, it’s me I finally have someone who loves me faults and all and I stupidly threw it all away because of my insecurities I don’t deserve you Ness, how could I have been so stupid how could I have ever thought you would cheat on me” Charity yelled.

“Charity what are you talking about I wasn’t cheating on you” Vanessa yelled in shock how could she think that.

“I know you didn’t, when you didn’t come home that day I was convinced you had someone else that’s why you couldn’t come home. We’d been drifting apart for a while it felt like you didn’t want to talk to me I missed you so much, I was trying to be strong for the kids but inside I was starting to crumble. I swear to you it was never an affair I was upset I was looking at pictures of us on the side of the road as I went to pull out he cut me off came out of the car was being all flirty and then he kissed me. I know I should have told you maybe if I had of done you would have believed me. I hate myself for what I did and I know you said you forgive me Ness but I’ll never forgive myself I had everything I ever wanted a real family and I destroyed it I destroy everything” Charity cried as she broke down.

“Charity I should have talked to you told you what was going on, I’m not blameless in this Charity it hurts me you thought I was having an affair but I’m not surprised from your past relationship. I wish I’d come home that day we could have gone to my last appointment together I wish I could do that day over. You do not destroy everything you need to stop thinking like that, we were both at fault for our break up I didn’t treat you right during my treatment I done stuff that wasn’t right to Charity. I nearly destroyed us when I asked Rhona to be Johnny’s guardian, that wasn’t right you’re his mum you’ll always be his mum my boy loves you so much. All he wants is to be with you he’s lucky to have you in his life, and regardless of what happens between us I know you’ll always love our boy and be there for him” Vanessa said as she wiped the tears from Charity’s eye’s

“I will always love him Ness, how could I not you both stole my heart. You made me believe in myself Ness I could never have got through what happened with Bails if I didn’t have you. You stood by me through it all you made me a better person, I was the best version of myself when I was with you. Haley told me I have to believe I can be that person when I’m not with you that, that person is still in me I can still be her and she’s right I’m a stronger person than I was before I’m willing to talk about my feelings whether it’s a good or bad day. I’m not going to lie I still have bad days I just have to keep positive I don’t want to go back down that dark whole again” Charity said she was determined to stay sober she couldn’t let her family down again.

“Charity you are the strongest person I’ve ever met you’ll get through this, I believe in you. You are a good person I wish more people got to see the real you, maybe then they wouldn’t be so quick to judge. I hate the way some people treat you especially your family, and I know Tracy hasn’t been kind either and I promise you I will talk to her, I don’t like to see you hurting Charity. Now let’s get these last few boxes in the car so we can go and eat I don’t know about you but I’m hungry” Vanessa said as she grabbed a box.

“Ok, let’s go eat and Ness thank you for everything” Charity smiled as she helped Vanessa with the boxes.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

It’s been a few weeks since Charity and Vanessa went through there things, Moses has been with Vanessa the past few days. Charity knew she couldn’t keep living in Manchester it was to far away from them she knew she wasn’t ready to go home or if she’ll ever be ready. She couldn’t just move to Leeds without talking to Vanessa first, things were really good with them at the moment and Charity didn’t want to make things weird between them or push her into something she’s not ready for.

“Hi Charity how was your drive” Vanessa asked as she opened the door.

“Hi Ness it was good, where are the boys” Charity asked not seeing them.

“Oh they went out with Noah they shouldn’t be long would you like a cup of tea” Vanessa asked as Charity followed her into the kitchen.

“Yes please, I wanted to talk to you about somethings maybe it’s a good thing the boys ain’t here,” Charity said as she sat at the table.

“Ok, is there something wrong” Vanessa asked as she put the kettle on.

“No, nothing wrong, I’ve just been doing some thinking I can’t keep living in Manchester it’s just too far, Moses wants to be near you. I’m not ready to move back home, I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that, so I was thinking if it’s ok with you of renting a place near here. I understand if your not ready for that,” Charity said hoping it be ok.

“That’s ok with me, I know Johnny would love to have you living near here, what about your therapy and job though” Vanessa asked as she finished making the tea.

“I can see someone here or just drive down to Manchester I only see Haley when I need to now, I’m doing ok, I think it will be good for me, my course has finished now I can get a job here” Charity said as Vanessa handed her a cup of tea.

“Ok if you’re sure, is that all you wanted to talk about,” Vanessa asked as she sat down.

“Yeah, so how’s things with work” Charity asked not really knowing what to say.

“It’s good I still own my share in the practice Paddy wants me to come back, there’s only him and Rhona there now, Jamie left. It is tempting to go back I know Tracy misses me, I just don’t think I’m ready to move back there I am happy here I love my job its kind of nice to not have to look after farm animals all the time” Vanessa said.

“I think you should do what makes you happy Ness, you can always just keep your share until your ready and if you’re never ready to then you can decide to sell your share. I was forced to sell my share of the pub and I wasn’t happy at the time but in hindsight it was probably the best thing to happen to me. I’ve started to get my life back on track and if I was still there I’d probably still be a mess. I still haven’t spoken to any of them they have my number and none of them have bothered I’ve come to the realisation that they just don’t care, and I’m ok with that, I have my kids and I have you Ness I’m happy. I’m not going to let anyone or anything ruin that for me” Charity smiled as she finished her tea.

“I’m so happy your doing good Charity I just want you to be happy, I hate the fact your family didn’t made you feel like you were nothing it wasn’t right how they treated you. I never thought you’d ever not be talking to Chas you were like sisters and I know it must hurt the way things are now between you” Vanessa said she couldn’t imagine not speaking to Rhona and not being friends with her wouldn’t feel right.

“I do miss her, she did try to help when you and I first broke up, I think she just got tired of the way I was acting, as I told you before I was a mess. It hurts they all turned their back on me when I needed them the most I came so close to ending it all, I just didn’t want to feel the pain anymore, I just couldn’t do it. I knew I had to leave I knew I couldn’t stay I needed help and I couldn’t get it if I was still there I lost everything and everyone I was in a dark hole and I just didn’t know how to get out of it. I’m not in that hole anymore, I never want to go back to that dark place” Charity said there was no way she could do it not to her or her family.

“I never knew things were so bad I never knew you wanted to end your life, I should have just come home I couldn’t have handled it if I lost you like that Charity. I don’t ever want to live in a world without you in it” Vanessa said she knew she wouldn’t survive if she lost her.

“Mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he ran over to her.

“Hi Johnny bobs” Charity smiled as she hugged her son.

“Hi mummy, we went in Noah’s new car it’s so cool” Moses smiled as he hugged his mum.

“Wow that’s awesome I’m going to have to go for a ride in it too now” Charity smiled as she sat with her boys.

“Hi mum, we can go for a drive later if you want, what time you driving home,” Noah asked as he placed the bags of shopping down into the kitchen.

“I thought I’d leave around 6 that way there shouldn’t be much traffic, that reminds me, I’ve got a present for you Johnny bobs, I’ll just go to the car and get it” Charity smiled as she got up.

“Charity you don’t have to keep buying him presents every time you come over” Vanessa said she didn’t want Johnny to be spoiled.

“Oh I didn’t buy it my dad bought it, he gave me it earlier before I came here” Charity smiled as she went to leave to get it.

Vanessa was surprised Charity’s dad bought something for Johnny it’s not like he’s met him. He really was trying to be a good father and grandfather and it made Vanessa smile that he wanted to include her son.

“Johnny this is from my dad” Charity smiled as she handed it to him.

“Thank you mummy Charity” Johnny smiled as he started opening it.

“Charity can you tell you dad I said thank you and he really didn’t need to buy Johnny anything” Vanessa smiled as she sat with them on the sofa.

“Mummy Charity it’s the same one Moses’s got I have a ball now too” Johnny smiled as he put the Rugby shirt on.

“My dad thought you’d want the same as Moses, so you not left out when we go to a game in a couple of weeks” Charity smiled happy he liked it.

“Mummy you coming as well” Johnny asked hoping she was.

“Yes I will be and Noah” Vanessa smiled it’s been so long since she’s been to a game she couldn’t wait.

“I’m going to go and make him a thank you card” Johnny smiled as he ran upstairs.

“Now Noah how about you take me for that ride” Charity smiled she also loved classic cars not as much as her son did she was more into the British classics where Noah loved the American ones.

“Yeah ok lets go, we won’t be long Ness would you like me to get some takeaway on the way home” Noah asked as he got up.

“Yes please thanks Noah, right Moses what would you like to do” Vanessa asked as she turned the TV on.

“You done such a good job on the car Noah the state it was in when you showed it to me I never thought it would run, it really does look. I’m so proud of you Noah you’ve worked really hard to become a mechanic and you’re a good man who’s there for his family” Charity smiled as she got in his car.

“Thanks mum, I know I may not tell you a lot but you’re a good mum I’m the man I am because of you, and I know we’ve had our moments but you have always been there for me mum” Noah smiled as he started the engine.

“Thank you that means so much to me. I’m moving to Leeds I spoke to Ness, I can’t keep living in Manchester I want to be close to you and your brother. I’m going to look at renting a place” Charity smiled things were going to be good again she just knew it.

That’s good I’m happy for you mum it would be good to live near each other again, so where do you want to go” Noah asked as he started driving.

“My dad would lose his mind if we turned up in this car he loves old cars, I understand if you’re not ready to meet him, I’m sorry I kept him from you all these years,” Charity said as she turned the sat nav on her phone.

“We can do that, I would like to meet him I know he’s not to far from here” Noah smiled would be nice to meet him.

It was a nice short drive to her dad’s Charity couldn’t get over how grown up her so was, it felt like only yesterday he was a little boy. She text Vanessa and told her where they were going and they’d be back in a couple of hours.

“Hi Dad, I know your surprised to see me again, Noah was taking me for a drive in his car I thought you’d want to see it” Charity smiled as he opened the door.

“Hi Charity, lets see the car then” Obadiah smiled as he followed her on the the end of the drive.

“Hi, I don’t really know what to call you but I’m Noah” Noah smiled as he got out of the car to meet him.

“Hi Noah, you can call me grandad if you want or Obadiah, this is an amazing car, how did you get it must have cost you a fortune” Obadiah smiled it really was an American classic.

“Didn’t cost me to much I fixed it up myself I saved it from being scrapped. Mum sent me some money to help with parts and stuff, it’s come out really good” Noah smiled he really did love his car.

“I used to have a 54 Chevy truck, I sold it when you mum was small I needed the money I love old cars, I’m glad my daughter and grandson love them too. I’ve always wanted a mustang” Obadiah smiled as he looked at the engine.

“I remember the truck dad, I know you were gutted when you sold it, I remember mum telling me” Charity said it was still hard for her to talk about her mum.

“I would have done anything for your mum I can talk about her now without breaking down. So Noah do you like rugby, I’m really looking forward to take you all to the rugby in a couple of weeks it’s been so long since I went to a game” Obadiah smiled as they made there way into his house.

“Yeah should be good I’ve never been to a game I’m more into football, mum said you’re a Leeds united fan,” Noah asked must be a family thing.

“Yeah I like football, more into rugby, I do miss going, I didn’t know whether you wanted me to get you a kit it’s much easier when you’re small to get them something they would want. I know you’re a mechanic Charity mentioned it, so I went through my shed and found some tools that you may need I don’t use them anymore, if you would like to come and see them” Obadiah asked he wanted to spend sometime with his grandson get to know him.

“I’ll make us some tea, while you do that,” Charity said as she made her way into the kitchen.

“Noah I am sorry I wasn’t there for you growing up I should have tried to make things right with your mum years ago. I have so many things I need to make right, you know all I want is for my daughter to be happy. I treated her terribly when she was young when my wife died I couldn’t handle the pain and I didn’t know how to get past that grief” Obadiah said as they made there way into his shed.

“Mum never really mentioned you, I know you kicked her out after she had Debbie, why did you take Debbie from her you know that really messed mum up. You know she doesn’t think she’s a good mum, yes she’s made her mistakes but I know there’s nothing she wouldn’t do for us she loves us and I know she doesn’t always get things right but I wouldn’t change her for anything, she’s my mum and I love her. I’m happy you’re getting to know her and I know it means a lot to her she may never have said it but you need your parents. Up until mum met Ness there was just me and her, she was really the only parent I had, mum loves Ness and hopefully one day they’ll get back together, at least I hope they do. I guess you and mum are more alike than you would think, mum turned to alcohol when her and Vanessa split it took her loosing everyone before she got help. I would like to get to know you, please promise me you won’t hurt her again I know it would destroy her,” Noah said.

“I promise you I’ll never hurt her again, you know I used to be a mechanic I’ve been retired a few years now I still own the garage my friends son runs it for me, maybe you’d like to come and see it one day and we can work on some cars” Obadiah said as he handed Noah the tools.

“Thank you for these, I’d like to see your garage, it must run in the family, I work with cars so does Debbie she owns a garage in Scotland Zac’s wife left it to her. Cain taught me most things mum knows a bit to not that she likes getting her hands dirty,” Noah said as he went to put the tools in his car.

“We best go back inside, you’re a good kid Noah and I look forward to getting to know you” Obadiah smiled as they made there way back into the house.

“Thanks mum” Noah smiled as she handed him a cup of tea.

“Your welcome, dad I’ll pick you up before the game and then we’ll meet Vanessa with the boys at the stadium, it would makes things easier” Charity suggested as she sat down at the table.

“Thank you Charity I would like that” Obadiah smiled as he drank his tea.

“Mum is this your mum” Noah asked as he noticed the photo on the side.

“Yes that’s my mum I was about 3 in this picture” Charity smiled she really missed her mum.

“You look like her,” Noah said not wanting to upset them he knew it must be difficult to talk about.

“I know, I don’t really remember much but I know I loved her and she loved me” Charity sighed she still found it hard losing your parent so young no child should have to go through that.

“Charity I have something for you, I’ll just go get it,” Obadiah said as he got up.

“Dad that’s mum’s album, I can’t take that” Charity said she hasn’t seen it since she was little.

“I want you to have it, your mum would want you to have it, and it should be yours. How I wish I could change what happened back then we were so happy,” Obadiah said as Charity started looking through the album.

“We were I remember this day, you tried to teach me to fish, I can’t believe mum took a picture” Charity smiled it was one of there many days at the beach she was about six in the picture.

“Your mum would do girly stuff with you I wasn’t great with all that stuff so I tried to teach you things I understood. I’m so sorry I wasn’t the best dad I know I should have done more” Obadiah cried he really had so much to make up for.

“Dad I loved spending time with you, when I was a kid and I do have good memories how about from now on we don’t talk about the negative stuff, I forgive you as I said we’ve all made mistakes nobody’s perfect” Charity said as she closed the album not wanting to upset him again.

“Mum, we best go I need to get dinner, thank you for the tools I’ll call you arrange a visit to your garage it was nice meeting you, mum I’ll be in the car” Noah said as he got up to leave.

“You’re very lucky Charity your kids clearly love you, and you are a good mum, you’re a much better parent than I ever was, but you’re right lets stop living in the past, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks” Obadiah said as he hugged his daughter.

“Bye dad, I’ll call you” Charity smiled as she walked out the door.

“Mum you ok” Noah asked as he started driving.

“I’m ok, I never thought I’d have my dad back in my life and I’m so glad I do it’s been amazing getting to know him again. I didn’t know he still owned the garage I know he can’t work there not with his illness,” Charity said.

“Mum, I can tell he loves you and he just wants to make things right with you, he has so many regrets. So what do you think we should get for dinner, I’m thinking Chinese” Noah suggested as his stomach started rumbling.

“Sounds good to me, thank you for today Noah” Charity smiled it was so good to spend time with her son again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

Vanessa and the boys were outside the stadium waiting for Charity and her dad to arrive. She was starting to get worried they should have been here by now. She knew the boys were getting bored waiting in the same spot.

“Ness do you want me to take them into the shop, get them a few things, while you try and call mum again,” Noah suggested.

“Yes please thanks Noah, boys be good,” Vanessa said as she took out her phone.

There was still no answer she was starting to get really worried now this wasn’t like Charity something must have happened.

“Ness we’ve got to go there’s been an accident, the hospital just rang me” Noah said as he rushed over to her with the boys by his side.

“Oh my god it’s Charity isn’t it please tell me she’s ok” Vanessa cried as they were making there way back to the car.

“I don’t know Ness, it sounded bad,” Noah cried as he helped Vanessa strap the boys back in their car seats.

“Mummy we not going to the rugby now, what’s happened to mummy Charity” Johnny asked he was so confused.

“We’ll go another day ok, I don’t know what’s happened to mummy Charity but I’ll find out ok,” Vanessa said not wanting to scare them.

“Ness we can’t take them with us we don’t know what’s happened” Noah said he didn’t want to scare his brothers.

“We’ll take them to my mum’s she’ll look after them” Vanessa cried as Noah started driving them she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to drive.

It was on the way to her mum’s Noah spotted his mum’s car it looked bad and was a complete write off, he just hoped the boys didn’t notice it. Vanessa was distraught when she saw the car what happened how did this happen Charity had to be ok she couldn’t lose her not like this.

After dropping the boys off they headed straight to the hospital on the way there Noah rang Debbie and Ryan to tell them what’s happened he knew they needed to know. He promised to keep them informed on what’s happened once he had more information.

“Hi I’m Noah Dingle my mum was in accident, where is she” Noah asked as they arrived at the accident and emergency department.

“Mr Dingle I’m Dr Ward one of the emergency doctors I’m the doctor in your mum’s care she’s just woken up, I’ll take you to her now” Dr Ward said as he led them to her room.

“Noah, Ness can you please ask them to tell me what happened to my dad,” Charity asked no one would tell her anything.

“Mum I’ll go find out” Noah said as he left the room he’s just walked into.

“You’re ok, I’ve been so worried what happened” Vanessa cried as she hugged her.

“I don’t know were were driving and a car came out of nowhere and knocked us of the road, I must have passed out they won’t tell me anything” Charity cried she just needed to know her dad was ok.

“Maybe the doctor will come in and tell you what’s happened or the police will come and talk to you,” Vanessa said just so happy she was ok.

“Ness where’s the boys” Charity asked confused they were all supposed to meet.

“We dropped them with my mum when Noah got the call you were here, we didn’t want them to get scared, did the doctors say you were ok” Vanessa asked she knew about the concussion.

“Other than the concussion, I have a few cracked ribs and my shoulder hurts. I’m still waiting for more information I still don’t know how all this happened” Charity cried as Noah came back in the room.

“Mum the doctor will be in shortly to tell you what’s going on, mum I really don’t know how I’m going to tell you this, but I know you’d want to hear it from family. Your dad didn’t make it, according to the doctor he died on impact there was nothing they could do” Noah cried as he sat with his mum.

“No Noah he can’t be gone he just can’t, I was just getting to know him again” Charity cried as she broke down.

“Mum I’m so sorry,” Noah cried as he hugged his mum.

“Charity I am so sorry I know how much it meant to you to have him back in your life, I’m here if you need to talk” Vanessa cried she hated seeing Charity in so much pain she just hoped it won’t send her back to drinking again.

“Ms Dingle I’m Dr Ward, we would like to keep you in for a couple more hours so we can monitor you. But then you’ll be allowed home the police are here and would like to speak to you is it ok if I send them in,” Dr Ward asked he could see she was upset it was a lot of news to take in.

“Yes that’s ok, thank you” Charity said she needed to know how this happened.

“Ms Dingle I’m DCI Johnston, I’m handling the case, I’m so sorry for your loss. You were caught in the wrong place wrong time, the driver off the car was on the run from the police he was high on drink and drugs and as he came round the corner he crashed into your car, there was nothing you could have done” DCI Johnston said.

“What’s happened to the other driver, was it a high speed chase,” Charity asked knowing now this wasn’t her fault the car literally came out of nowhere.

“He died on impact it seemed he crashed into the passenger side of the car which caused the most damage, in the split second you must have tried to avoid the incoming vehicle, we’ll be investigating further and when we have more information we’ll let you know. Is there anyone you would like us to call” DCI Johnston asked.

“No thank you I’ll let my family know I was an only child,” Charity cried as Vanessa wrapped her in her arms.

Noah didn’t really know what to do he hated seeing his mum in pain, he was happy Vanessa was here he knew his mum needed her, he thought it be best if he gave them a few minutes he decided to ring the family let them now what’s happened.

“Charity everything is going to be ok, you’re staying with me until you get better, I’ll go with you to talk to your therapist we’re going to get through this together” Vanessa said as she held her.

“Ness I want to be with you more than anything but won’t that just confuse the boys,” Charity said not wanting to hurt them, when she’ll have to leave again.

“Charity I’ll explain it to them, you need me right now I’m not going to let you go in that dark place again. I would be to worried to leave you, please can you just come stay at least until I know your ok I’ve never been so worried, I really thought I’d lost you and I never want to come close to ever losing you again” Vanessa cried she’s never felt so scared.

“Ok if you’re sure, my things are in my flat in Manchester though” Charity said she’d need her clothes and Moses things.

“That’s ok, Noah will go there and get your things you were planning on moving to Leeds anyway so we’ll just need to explain to your landlord what’s happened” Vanessa said.

“Hi Charity, Vanessa” Chas said as she came in the room.

“Hi Chas what are you doing here” Charity said not expecting her to be here.

“Debbie called Cain told him what happened, he didn’t think you’d want to see him, he called told me what happened I just saw Noah he told me what happen to your dad I’m sorry” Chas said.

“I’ll leave you two to talk” Vanessa said as she started to get up.

“Ness please stay, why are you here Chas, you’ve not cared about me for over six months now, not once have you asked how I am” Charity said it hurt they were like sisters and she just turned against her.

“I didn’t think you’d want to speak to me after what happened I’ve always cared about you Charity, you’re my best friend I’ve missed having you in my life” Chas said feeling bad for not getting in touch sooner.

“Look Chas we both made mistakes, but I’d never do to you what you did to me. I’m having a really shit day, I really don’t need this right now, if you wanted to talk to me I know you have my new number, you can’t just decide to give a shit because I nearly died. I know one day I’ll be ready for us to be friends again but I won’t put up with being treated like crap again. You all turned you backs on me, you didn’t want me in your life anymore so I’m just doing what you all wanted” Charity said she hoped one day they could all be a family again.

“Charity I know I should have been there more for you I know you needed me, I’m sorry. This is what we do we fall out but we’re family, we’re Dingles Charity that will never change. So you’re not ready to move back home” Chas asked.

“And what home would that be Chas, the pub where you made me sell my share, or the home I shared with Ness and the kids where Debbie kicked me out which she then sold. No I’m not moving back there or if I’ll ever move back there. Right now I’m just going to concentrate on getting through this and getting my family back” Charity said as she held Vanessa’s hand.

“I hope everything works out for you kid and you know where I am when you want to talk, I really am sorry for not being there, well I better go what do you want me to tell the others” Chas asked.

“If they want to talk to me they have my number they may not like what I have to say, Chas I hope the pub is doing well, I really did love that place” Charity said needing her to know that.

“I know you did, it’s going well, call me if you need anything, its good seeing you, you look well Vanessa will you tell the boys I said hello” Chas said as she left.

“Charity are you ok” Vanessa asked she knew that must have been hard for her.

“I will be, I’m not going to let anything bring me down again. I’ll need to go and see Zac and tell him about my dad” Charity sighed she still couldn’t believe she lost him.

“I’ll come with you, I don’t want you doing any of this on your own I know how hard it is to lose a parent in a shocking way” Vanessa said as she held her in her arms.

Charity was getting ready to go Vanessa helped her dress as she was still in pain from her broken ribs. The doctor explained to them both to look out for any signs due to the concussion but nausea and headache was normal. Noah left a couple of hours ago to go to Charity’s place to get some things for his mum and Moses.

“You feeling ok” Vanessa asked as she helped Charity into her car.

“Yeah I will be, I need to ring my insurance company about my car” Charity said from what Vanessa said she wouldn’t be able to salvage the car.

“I’ll help you with that, Noah should be back soon, I know we need to go back to Emmerdale for you to tell your family, I was thinking in a few days we can do that I think you need to rest” Vanessa said as she started driving them to her home.

“Thanks Ness, I really don’t think I could get through this without you, are we going to your mum’s first to pick up the boys” Charity asked she really wanted to see them.

“No my mum’s going to have them tonight and I’ll pick them up in the morning, I need to make sure your ok and my mum doesn’t mind looking after them” Vanessa said she’s so worried she just wants to make sure everything is ok.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Charity and Vanessa were getting the boys ready to take them to Emmerdale, to see their family. The boys loved living together again, they knew they needed to be careful with Charity as she was still in pain from the accident. Charity still hasn’t told the boys what happened to her dad she still found it hard to talk about.

“Mummy Charity, you live here forever now” Johnny asked as she helped put his coat on.

“Well I don’t know about forever that’s a very long time but for right now I’m here” Charity smiled she wanted to be with them forever but she still didn’t know what was going to happen with Vanessa she didn’t want to get his hopes up if things didn’t go the way she wanted them too.

“It’s ok mummy Charity mummy want you here forever too, did you like my card I drawed it all by myself” Johnny asked as she walked him out to the car.

“Yes thank you Johnny bob’s, we’re going to have to wait till mummy comes to put you in your car seat it still hurts for me to lift you” Charity said as they waited by the car.

“It’s ok mummy Charity, mummy said you’re poorly so we have to be careful with you” Johnny smiled as she ruffled his hair.

“Right you ready to go boys” Vanessa asked as she placed them both in their car seats” Vanessa smiled as she handed them their tablets so they wouldn’t be bored.

“Mummy do we have to stay with Aunty Tracy” Johnny asked he wanted to be with them.

“You do she wants to see you both and we have some grown up things to do but you won’t be there long ok” Vanessa said as she started driving.

“Ok, then we can go see aunty Chas she’ll give us ice cream” Johnny smiled he was so excited to see everyone.

“You ok Charity” Vanessa asked as she noticed Charity looking out of the window.

“Yeah, just thinking, I’ll be ok Ness, please don’t worry” Charity said as she turned to look at her.

Not to long into the journey Charity fell asleep she was still on strong medication and it made her tired she also hadn’t been sleeping to well. When they arrived Vanessa thought about waking her but decided to let her sleep, she quickly parked the car to drop the boys with Tracy she promised to stay for a bit later when she picks the boys up. Vanessa knew she needed to wake Charity up when they arrived at Zac’s place she didn’t want to startle her.

“Charity, Charity, we’re here” Vanessa whispered as she slowly started opening her eyes.

“Ness how long was I asleep,” Charity asked as she slowly started coming around.

“About an hour, I dropped the boys off with Tracy, you ready” Vanessa asked she knew how hard this was going to be.

“Yeah I just need a minute,” Charity said as she got out the car with Vanessa’s help.

“Ok, whenever you’re ready, the moment you want to go tell me, if you’re not ready for this we don’t have to. I just want you to be ok Charity I know how hard this all is for you,” Vanessa said as she took Charity’s hand.

“Thanks Ness, let’s do this” Charity said as they made their way to the house.

“Hi Charity, Vanessa come in” Zac smiled as he let them inside.

“Hi Uncle Zac, I don’t know whether Chas told you, my dad passed away, I knew I needed to come and tell you, I haven’t arranged anything yet in regards to the funeral, I’m still trying to get my head around it. I don’t know if you heard but he was back in my life I was just starting to get to know him again,” Charity cried as she sat down opposite him with Vanessa by her side.

“Debbie called me, I know we weren’t close these last few years but I will miss him, he was a good man before her lost your mum, he was my dad’s favourite nephew, we were like brothers growing up. How have you been Charity I know I haven’t kept in touch I’m sorry about that, Debbie said you’re doing well” Zac said he really should have been there for her more.

“I am doing well I’m sober I’m getting my life and family back on track, how have you been” Charity asked it can’t be easy him living here without Lisa.

“That’s good I’m happy for you kid, I’m doing ok, just old” Zac smiled he still had a full house which was good for him he didn’t think he could live here by himself.

“Uncle Zac when I know what’s going to happen I’ll let you know I know my dad would want you there, would it be possible for you to let the rest of the family know what’s happened” Charity asked she really wasn’t in contact with any of them.

“Of course I will, if you want we can do your dad a proper Dingle do, we can have it here if you like” Zac suggested would be good for Charity to be a part of the family again.

“Thanks Uncle Zac I’ll think about it, I’m living in Leeds now with Vanessa and the boys, I’ll be in touch” Charity smiled as she got up that went better than she expected after what happened before.

“Ok, and Charity I am so sorry about you dad” Zac said as they were leaving.

“Thanks Uncle Zac” Charity said as she closed the door behind them.

“So where to now” Vanessa asked as they were walking back to her car.

“I don’t know about you but I’m hungry we can go to the pub if you like grab something to eat” Charity suggested as her tummy rumbled.

“Are you sure there will be people there asking questions, but you’re right I’m hungry too” Vanessa said as she started driving.

“Ness let them talk, we’ll have to face everyone eventually so why not today” Charity said she really didn’t care what anyone had to say not anymore life is too short to worry about what people think of her.

“Ok I’ll call Tracy when we get there so she can meet us there with the boys. It’s going to be weird going to the pub again I never thought I would” Vanessa said as she drove them back into the village.

“How is Tracy,” Charity asked before this whole mess her and Tracy where good friends.

“She’s doing ok, she wants me to move back, I just don’t think I want to” Vanessa said as she pulled up outside the woolpack.

“Vanessa this will always be our home and I don’t think either of us are ready to move back here but maybe one day we’ll feel differently,” Charity said as Vanessa helped her out of the car.

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this, we can just get the boys and grab something to eat on the way home,” Vanessa suggested as she took Charity’s hand she didn’t want her to do something she wasn’t ready for.

“Thank Ness for being here for me I want to do this and if they want to say something let them,” Charity said as she opened the door to the pub which was hers for so many years.

“Ok, but don’t push yourself to hard you’re still recovering from the accident” Vanessa said as everyone stopped and looked at them.

“Vanessa, Charity you’re back and together,” Jimmy said in shock.

“I’ll order us something,” Vanessa said as she helped Charity sit down at one of the tables.

“Ok, thanks Ness” Charity said wishing everyone would stop staring at her it’s like they’ve seen a ghost or something.

“Hello everyone we’re just here to have something to eat can you all stop staring at us like we’ve got to heads. Chas can I have two orange juices and a menu please” Vanessa said as she approached the bar.

“Ness how is she” Chas asked as she made the drinks.

“She’ll be ok, just give her time Chas this whole thing has been hard for her,” Vanessa said as she collected the drinks.

“I’ll get Marlon to come and take your order” Chas sighed she just wanted things to be ok again with her and Charity.

As Vanessa carried the drinks over Johnny and Moses ran through the door and ran over to Charity being careful not to hurt her. Tracy was a few seconds behind them and decided against going over to them not wanting to make things more awkward.

“Mummy Charity, can I have ice cream” Johnny asked knowing she could never say no to him.

“What do you say we eat lunch first and then you both can have ice cream how does that sound” Charity asked as Vanessa handed her the drink.

“Ok, mummy Charity, Aunty Chas I’ve missed you” Johnny smiled as he ran into her arms.

“I’ve missed you to Johnny you to Moses” Chas smiled as he ran to meet her too.

“Hi Charity, I’m sorry to hear about your dad, how are you” Marlon asked in shock she was there after what happened all those months ago.

“Thanks Marlon, I’ll be ok, how are things with you” Charity asked she wasn’t really angry at him he didn’t really play a part in her leaving other than buying her share in the pub.

“I’m good, so what would you like to eat” Marlon asked.

“I’ll have a burger and chips the boys will have nuggets and chips” Charity said it’s been ages since she’s had one of Marlon’s burgers.

“I’ll have the same as Charity, thanks Marlon” Vanessa said as she sat down at the table.

“Coming right up, it’s good to see you all, have you seen Rhona yet” Marlon asked.

“Not yet but I will do before we leave” Vanessa said as Moses came and sat on her lap.

The lunch went really well, there was no incidents, and people had even stopped staring at them. Charity took the boys to the park while Vanessa went to see Rhona, Charity knew Vanessa wanted to spend time with her best friend before they headed home.

“Hi Charity” Cain said as he approached her Chas text him to say she was in town.

“Hi Cain, boy’s not too far, please stay where I can see you” Charity said she wasn’t well enough to go after them.

“I’m sorry about your dad, I spoke to Debbie she said you’re doing well” Cain said as he went to sit next to her.

“I am, look Cain can you just leave me alone I’m here to spend time with my boys, I only came to the village to speak to Zac. Look I’m not part of the family anymore you all made your feelings about me pretty clear. I’m just doing what you all wanted I’m better now, because I did what I had to do you all knew I needed help and you all just kicked me while I was down so you can save your pity you didn’t even like my dad” Charity said as she went to get up.

“Charity I am sorry, but you was a mess look at what you did to Noah and Debbie, what was we supposed to do, and I may never have liked your dad but he was still family” Cain said.

“Family what a joke, this family is toxic, we turn on each other at the drop of a hat, we’re all supposed to just move on from it. All the crap you’ve done but I get banished and driven out of town because I was heartbroken and I was hurting was than I ever had. I lost Vanessa and Johnny and you all wanted me to just move on and be the old me. How could I do that I’ve never felt pain like I was in and none of you helped me” Charity said trying to keep her voice down not wanting to alert the boys to what’s going on.

“I know I’ve made mistakes Charity and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more, we’ve always been close me and you even when we hate each other, we’ve always got each other’s back. I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t count on us and I’m sorry we turned our back on you, you know your still part of this family you’ll always be a Dingle,” Cain said needing her to know that.

“I’m not sure I want to be anymore, look I’m sure with time I’ll be ready to come back but right now I’m more concerned about my family, I want to be the mum my kids deserve I want to be with Vanessa again for us to be a family again. I’m starting to be me again, the me I was when I was with Vanessa” Charity said as Johnny and Moses came running over.

“Mummy Charity can we go to the shop, hello Uncle Cain” Johnny smiled as he reached them.

“Hi Uncle Cain, mummy can we have some money I want to buy a couple of cars we’ve built a little dirt track” Moses asked.

“That explains why your both dirty, come on then let’s go shop” Charity smiled as she tried to get up.

“You ok Charity” Cain asked in concern as she winced in pain.

“I’ll be ok, still recovering from the accident,” Charity said as the boys took her hand.

“Charity, if you need anything or you want to talk you know where I am” Cain said as he left to go back to work.

“So how’s things with Charity, you back together,” Rhona asked while they drank there tea it was so good to see her again she’s really missed her.

“No we’re not back together, I don’t really know what we are, when I thought something bad had happened I couldn’t breathe the thought of not seeing her again it ripped my heart from my chest and then when I knew she was ok I’ve never felt so relieved. She’s staying with me until she’s better, Charity was planning to move to Leeds anyway this just speeded things up” Vanessa said.

“So how is she doing now, I know you said she’s sober and is seeing someone which I think is a good idea. I should have helped her more I saw how badly she was handling your break up. Marlon felt terrible about taking the pub from her” Rhona said how she left was awful.

“Maybe it was the best thing for Charity losing the pub she wouldn’t have gotten help and being around alcohol wasn’t good for her. She’s getting her life back on track I know it wasn’t an affair I should never have listened to Tracy, I should have just come home then none of this would have happened. I want to be with her Rhona but trust is still a big issue and until I can trust her, I can’t put my heart through it again. I know she’ll never hurt me again I know that she loves me and I’ll always love her, I know one day we’ll be together again I have to believe that” Vanessa sighed she wished she could just get past this and be with Charity again but she knew she wasn’t ready at least not yet.

“You belong together Ness and I think you both made mistakes that led to your break up, you both just stopped communicating, and being apart just made things worse. You’ll get back together when your both ready don’t rush it,” Rhona said as she placed the cups in the sink.

“Thanks Rhona well I better go it’s getting late when you want you can come and visit, I don’t think we’re ready to move back to the village yet” Vanessa said as she got up and hugged her best friend it’s been so long since they last saw each other. 

“Hi Ness you ready to go” Charity smiled as she approached her.

“Yes let’s go, boy’s you ready,” Vanessa asked as they came running over to her.

It was a quite ride back the boys fell asleep from sheer exhaustion Vanessa could tell Charity had a lot to think about it couldn’t have been easy for her to see her family again.


End file.
